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Author Topic: Rules for the Eskie Owners  (Read 2672 times)
Barks Too Much
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Posts: 1203

« on: January 18, 2004, 05:28:49 PM »

Someone just emailed me this and I thought I would share it.  I think you can all appreciate it :0

American Eskimo - Dog Rules for Human Caretakers

1. Hey, I had more exercise before breakfast than you'll have all week at the gym, so you'd better not whine about walking me. How'd you like to go to work and tell your buddies that you got your butt kicked by a 25-pound fluffy white dog?

2. It's called FUR. No matter how much you use that lint brush or vacuum cleaner, you're gonna get white hair all over yourself and your clothing. Deal with it.

3. Hey, my ancestors hunted vermin for thousands of years in their masters' caves and on farms, so quit yelling at me about chasing and hunting squirrels and bunnies. I'm a PREDATOR, for crying out loud. Would you rather have rodents living in the garage and attic? It can be arranged, you know.

4. Any references to "mean dogs" when talking about me or my relatives are not appreciated. But if you insist on treating me like I'm a mean dog, then I'll be more than happy to show you how mean I can be.

5. Being brushed every now and then would be nice. You don't want to end up taking me to the vet because I have dermatitus and hot spots, do you? I'd brush myself, but I don't have thumbs.

6. I repeat -- I am a PREDATOR, so if you can't handle the idea of me eating meat, then why the heck do you have a dog? Oh, and because I'm also a natural scavenger, if you leave food out where I can easily get to it and steal it, it's your own fault, not mine.

7. So, you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. I'm real impressed. You'd better not yell at me if I barf in your car and get hair all over the seats. You're the idiot who put me in the car in the first place.

8. Let's get this straight. I'm a spitz. I BARK. I MAY stop barking occasionally. If you can't handle a dog that barks, then get a Basenji. Better yet, don't get a dog at all.

9. I am an extremely intelligent dog. Heck, I'm probably smarter than your kids. If I don't have enough mental stimulation, I get BORED. And when I get BORED, you bet I'm gonna go find things to do. If you don't like the things I find to do, then you need to do a better job of entertaining me or keeping me busy. If you can't do it yourself, then be a sport and get me a buddy. After all, if I'm unhappy, I'm gonna make sure you're unhappy too.

10. For crying out loud, show a little backbone, will ya? Spitzes have no respect for people who can't take charge of them and be the boss. If you don't take charge, then *I* will take charge, and believe me, you DON'T want ME to be the boss. Oh, and you'd better be NICE to me too -- I have no respect for mean people, either.

11. Hey, just because YOU think it stinks doesn't mean that *I* think it stinks. Heck, to me it smells like the most wonderful thing on earth. If you don't want me to roll in it, then keep me away from it.

12. I am an extremely intelligent and loyal dog, and I am very affectionate toward the people I know and like. I expect to be a participating member of the family. If you shut me out of the family's activities and keep me isolated in a crate or in the back yard, then I will do my best to make sure you are as miserable as I am. But if you treat me fairly, be firm yet kind to me, and treat me as a member of the family, then I will be the most wonderful dog on the face of the earth, and you will wonder how you ever got along without me.


Schatzi's Mom
Classy Dog
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Posts: 598

« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2004, 07:30:21 PM »

That is so funny and TRUE.  I loved it.  Thanks for sharing!  Smile

Schatzi- Female Standard-6 Years Bday 8/4/2003

                                         Jack - 3 years
Scout's Parents
Hot Dog
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« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2004, 08:54:57 PM »

What a great expression of an eskie's feelings!

Scout's Mommy

Scout: Mini Male: 9 months: 19 lbs  14 inches
b-day 11/04/03
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United States
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« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2004, 10:52:54 PM »

How true, especially the parts about the morning exercise and the not wanting to be left out of things.

We're working on the barking, we've gone to Petsmart 3 times now, and he seems to get a little better each time.  Yesterday he didn't growl at anyone, and waited to bark until we got outside.

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